Black lives matter.
I’ve been quiet here. At least for the past week or two, it has been an intentional pause.
I’ve been watching the protests and I’ve been listening, reading, watching, learning. And I’ve been thinking a lot - and struggling, if I’m honest - to find the balance between taking up space in a conversation that doesn’t need my voice and not remaining silent on something that is so important.
So here’s my awkward invitation to my white family and friends:
We have to talk about this more.
Actually, “more” would suggest that we’re talking about it “some” now. We’re not. I mean, maybe you guys were hanging out before these past few weeks having conversations about racial injustice and white supremacy without me. But I kinda doubt it.
We don’t talk about it because we don’t have to. We don’t have to think about it every single day of our lives.
The work is about unlearning so much of what we think we know. It’s about unpacking. All of this is deeply uncomfortable and unsettling. It’s meant to be. I am learning that allyship is a lifelong process. We can learn and unlearn together.
Now that I think about it, I used the word “invitation” which sounds really polite. But we have to be done with polite too. We’re already WAY late to the game and our “politeness,” it keeps us from having the tough conversations. It makes us think that it’s rude to talk about race. It makes us think that “I don’t see color” is what we should aspire to. It’s not. And it’s not just not rude to talk about race, it’s a violent way of sticking our heads in the sand and ignoring the very real threats that exist for people of color.
I’ve seen hundreds of lists of resources in the past few weeks, but if you’re still looking for where to start, here’s my advice: Start anywhere. Google some shit and get started. It matters less where we get started (though choose your resources wisely) and matters more that we just get started.
We can’t wait to get it perfectly right or be assured that we won’t lose face or be publicly embarrassed by our feeble efforts. It’s not possible to get it perfect. And the longer we wait, the more harm that is done. And you know, perfectionism is a characteristic of white supremacy. It’s another way of avoiding, which brings me to a confession: I’ve written and rewritten this post approximately 100 times.
I’ve been trying to figure out why I feel more comfortable talking about anti-racism in the workplace at HRuprise than talking about being anti-racist in personal settings. Maybe it’s because I’m more practiced. Maybe it’s because I have the ability to hide a bit behind the brand. Maybe it’s because having this kind of conversation with those who are closest feels loaded. Probably mostly the last one. But we have to do this.
There are a hundred million ways that we can be really fragile about these conversations. There’s a whole damn book on it. It’s hard and it’s uncharted territory for a lot of us. But we can’t be fragile about this. People are dying. We’re so late. Let’s get to work.
We have to be un-fragile.
We have to get moving and keep going.
We have to talk about this more.
Artist: Danielle Coke (www.instagram.com/ohhappydani)