I’ve never actually seen the movie this song is from - but I first heard this song at the 3% Conference back in November. On the second day of the conference, Clark Street Bridge performed this song and it was POWERFUL. The performance was out of this world and the lyrics just hit me right in the gut. “I am brave, I am bruised, I am who I’m meant to be, This Is Me.” I sat there crying like a big baby in the beautiful convention hall and I definitely wasn’t alone. A lot of my fellow 3 Percenters were moved to tears too. (This, my friends, is called foreshadowing.)
So right after my diagnosis, I came across a photo from the conference and remembered what a powerful experience that morning had been. I found the song on iTunes and I started playing it VERY LOUDLY for myself. (It’s such a great song played loudly.) And then I introduced the song to the girls. As predicted, they loved it too. Which means the song now it’s on permanent repeat daily along with the Frozen 2 Soundtrack (which, to be honest, has some pretty good songs that speak to me too).
I’m trying to infuse the lyrics deep in my soul so that I’ll have access to that strength when I’m in the throes of treatment. When I’m feeling self-conscious about being bald. When I’m worried about how this next year will negatively affect my family. When I feel so out of control.
Here’s what’s speaking to me the most: “When the sharpest words wanna cut me down, I’m gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out.” The sharpest words sometimes come from within. I’m working hard on this part, and having dance parties at home with the girls to our “powerful girl songs” definitely helps. But it’s also not always about quieting the voice from within as much as it is drowning them out with other more positive words.
One of the best things in the world to have happened to my inner gremlins (you know the ones - who love to creep in and say “who do you think you are?”) is having two girls. Two girls who I want to grow up without those gremlins. Or at least, who will know how to shout them down at an earlier age than I learned to. Two girls who most definitely listen to what I say but watch even more carefully what I do.
I’ve had to accelerate my own processing of my insecurities - especially related to losing my hair - to help the girls through it. It’s what we do as parents and I’m so grateful for it.
What other songs should I add in to my rotation? What songs do you listen to (especially LOUDLY) that make you feel amazing?
This Is Me
Song by Keala Settle and The Greatest Showman Ensemble
I am not a stranger to the dark
Hide away, they say
'Cause we don't want your broken parts
I've learned to be ashamed of all my scars
Run away, they say
No one'll love you as you are
But I won't let them break me down to dust
I know that there's a place for us
For we are glorious
When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out
I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I'm meant to be, this is me
Look out 'cause here I come
And I'm marching on to the beat I drum
I'm not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh
Another round of bullets hits my skin
Well, fire away 'cause today, I won't let the shame sink in
We are bursting through the barricades and
Reaching for the sun (we are warriors)
Yeah, that's what we've become (yeah, that's what we've become)
I won't let them break me down to dust
I know that there's a place for us
For we are glorious
When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out
I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I'm meant to be, this is me
Look out 'cause here I come
And I'm marching on to the beat I drum
I'm not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh
This is me
and I know that I deserve your love
(Oh-oh-oh-oh) 'cause there's nothing I'm not worthy of
(Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh)
When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out
This is brave, this is proof
This is who I'm meant to be, this is me
Look out 'cause here I come (look out 'cause here I come)
And I'm marching on to the beat I drum (marching on, marching, marching on)
I'm not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me
When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out
I'm gonna send a flood
Gonna drown them out
Oh
This is me
Source: LyricFind